MIRACLE OF CONVERSION, REACTIVATION, FAMILY HISTORY & TEMPLE
My
journey towards membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints has been quite a long one, spanning many years and filled with
twists and turns. It begins when I was 14yrs old. That’s when I
discovered for myself the reality of God and had the most amazing,
life-changing encounter with Him which resulted in my conversion.
Three
of my most treasured possessions are a gold bracelet, an old Bible, and
two old letters. To explain why, I need to go back to the year 1974. I
was suicidally depressed and had begun to develop an illness called
Agoraphobia, all as a result of being molested by a stranger/brief
acquaintance just a month before my 13th birthday. I had reached the
stage where I had become almost completely housebound. Just walking from
the front door to the letterbox was a major ordeal. I didn't know what
was wrong with me - nobody did at the time –and for the next five years
or so I would go through my own personal ‘hell’, believing that I was
going crazy and that there was no hope for me. I became deeply
depressed....I know now that at this time, a tiny spark of hope was
planted by God, because it was at this very point – when I had hit the
absolute rock-bottom of total despair – that things began to happen.
My
brothers used to salvage ‘junk’ from the local rubbish tip and in one
of the boxes they brought home one day was a very old King James Bible.
Along with everything else they brought home it got tossed in a cupboard
and forgotten about, until one day I noticed it had fallen out. I
picked it up and out of curiosity, began reading it. I found I couldn't
put it down – I seemed to just ‘devour’ it! Around this same time some
Mormon Missionaries starting going door-to-door and I was struck with
how happy they always seemed. They always had smiles on their faces. It
was obvious they had something I didn't have. One of my sisters at this
time had given me an engraved gold bracelet which I really treasured.
One day I couldn't find it and I was devastated. I knew it had to be in
the house somewhere, as, being agoraphobic, I rarely ventured outside. I
virtually turned the house upside-down looking for it, but it was
nowhere to be found. Then I recalled an incident from my Catholic school
days. One of my teachers lost her rosary beads one day and told the
class that if we all prayed the “Apostles Creed’ nine times she would
find them. So, the whole class prayed and sure enough, she found them! I
remember being so impressed by this at the time! So now I thought, here
is my chance to find out for myself if there really is a God. I knelt
down and prayed. As I finished the ninth Apostles Creed and was rising
to my feet, I was stopped in my tracks by the words in my mind, “Look in
the wardrobe under the pile of clothes’. The ‘command’ was so clear and
distinct that I was compelled to look right there and then and to my
absolute astonishment – there was the bracelet! It was then that I asked
God to come into my life and I felt like a tremendous weight had been
lifted off my shoulders and nothing will ever top that moment!
My
problems didn't all vanish in that moment but I now had God in my life
to help me cope with them. But as time went on, for some reason I began
to doubt my experience and so my problems gradually overwhelmed me
again. By the time I was seventeen, I had fallen into another suicidal
depression. One day I wrote to a Christian radio broadcast asking if
they had a counselling service. (not being able to go to church, I used
to listen to all the Christian broadcasts every Sunday night, this being
my only contact with Christians in the ‘outside world’). They replied
saying I would hear from someone ‘in due course’. Two more months went
by and still I had heard nothing. One night, desperately depressed, at
the end of my tether and with tears streaming down my face, I begged God
to send someone...anyone..for me to talk to the next day. I wanted a
Christian to talk to and I told Him I didn't care what church they were
from, just please send someone. I fell asleep that night with a strange
sense of peace, believing He would answer, simply because I had no other
hope.
Next day, a letter came for me from a total stranger and it
began...’Your request to the radio broadcast, “These Times” for someone
to talk to has been passed on to me’. When I phoned this lady who
happened to be a High School teacher with experience in counselling
young people, she told me that my original letter had changed hands
several times before her Pastor gave it to her the evening before (the
night I had prayed!). Concerned that three months had elapsed since I
had written asking for help, she immediately typed a reply and rushed to
get it in the mail that evening so that I would receive it the very
next day. I began counselling with her and eventually became a member of
her church – the Seventh-day Adventist Church – and remained an active
member for some twenty years.
When I met and married a
(non-practicing) Catholic man in 1990 I left the SDA Church and we
didn't attend any church until our son was about three years old. We
then decided to re-connect with the Catholic Church so that our son
could attend Catholic schools and have a Christian education. However,
after about twelve years of marriage we divorced and I stopped going to
church. These were very hard years. I struggled in every way to cope
with raising our son virtually on my own. Financially I was scraping the
bottom of the barrel and it was a really stressful period. Before long I
became involved in New Age practices which I ultimately found very
unsatisfying, before deciding to return to the SDA Church. But that just
didn't work either. I have always believed that you can’t ‘go back’
and I found that to be so true in this case. So once again I was without
a church.
It was around this time that the Mormon Missionaries and
the Jehovah’s Witnesses both started coming around. It had been a very
long time since the Mormons had knocked on my door. I had some
discussions with them at the door, but eventually I decided to begin
studies with the JWs. I attended quite a few of their meetings and even a
Convention and continued very in-depth studies with them for about four
years or so. But I felt there was just something not quite right about
some of their doctrines, so in the end I just couldn't bring myself to
commit to baptism. I tried out a few of the other churches in the area
but none of them satisfied either.
One day I happened to remark to
one of my sisters that I hadn't had a Mormon Missionary knock on my door
for quite a long time and next thing I know they were on my doorstep! I
told them that I had been studying with the JWs for the last few years,
and I didn't show much interest that first time they came, but just the
fact that they had come to my door and the timing of it got me
thinking. I then decided I would get in touch with them somehow. One
night I wrote myself a note to call them the next day and arrange to
have studies but before I even had a chance to do this they turned up
again on my doorstep! I told them I had been going to call them and I
think we all knew that somehow God was in this. The two sisters who
called on me were Sister Lemon and Sister Shum. I agreed to a time to
start lessons with them, but Sister Lemon was due to go home to Utah
(where else?!) before my first scheduled lesson. The new sister was
Sister Barrett (from New Zealand) and so began my investigation of the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!
I was surprised that
after just a few lessons I was asked if I would commit to baptism, but I
said yes and a date was set. I needed to find a white dress to wear and
I didn't think that would be easy, but on one of my regular visits to a
local op-shop, what should be hanging on the front of one of the
dress-racks, right inside the door, but a long white dress in my size! I
paid about six dollars for it (from memory). In spite of this, before
the date arrived I began to get cold feet about my decision. The
doctrines were so new and different from all that I have previously been
taught and my fear of making the wrong decision on such an important
and life-changing issue, kicked in, so I backed out, much to the
Sisters’ disappointment.
I continued lessons and asked myriads of
questions. I felt I needed to be able to ‘dot all my ‘i’s and ‘cross all
my ‘t’s’ before I could commit. After a while we set another date for
baptism and once again I changed my mind. I was attending church on and
off and really enjoying it but still struggled with some of the
doctrines. Before very long, Sister Shum was transferred and Sister
Graff (yes, you guessed it..from Utah!) became Sister Barrett’s new
companion. Finally, after more study and reading we set a new date for
my Baptism – 24th April 2010. This time it was no practice-run, but the
real thing! I invited a Catholic friend to my Baptism and she thought it
was really lovely.
Not long after though, I was exposed to some
pretty deep doctrine during a Relief Society Meeting and this was
something I had never heard before. It shook my new-found confidence to
the core and I felt I should take a step back and study this issue
before going any further, so I stopped going to church. I kept reading
my Scriptures and reading the Ensign and even the New Era magazines. I
prayed and even continued to watch General Conference online. I kept a
foot in the door so-to-speak. I truly wanted the LDS Church to be true. I
went to church sporadically during this time.
It’s now been three
and a half years since my baptism. In June/July of this year I finally
decided I was tired of living in doctrinal confusion. I made up my mind
that I would just go back to the ‘original’ church – the Catholic
Church. I gave away all my JW books to a JW friend and decided that I
was going to do the same with all my Mormon books. So when some new
Sister Missionaries knocked on my door about four months or so ago, I
told them my plan and asked them if it was possible to advertise my
books in the church newsletter. They told me they would look into it.
One of these was Sister Rasmussen. (I can’t recall the name of her
companion at that time). Sometime later they turned up at my door
again, but this time Sister Rasmussen had a new companion, Sister
Walter, with her. I stressed again what my plan was and they accepted
that, but they also asked if I would help them out by allowing them to
‘practice’ teaching the lessons on me. I immediately saw through this
well-meaning little ‘ruse’, but happily agreed to it. As we worked
through the lessons from week to week I challenged them with lots of
questions. As we progressed I started to feel strongly that I could not
honestly and in good conscience, walk away from the LDS Church, knowing
what I know. I had tried to stick to the Bible alone for spiritual
nurture and knowledge, but after having read the Book of Mormon, it just
didn't seem complete anymore. The Book of Mormon was like the missing
piece of the puzzle. In the words of Sister Barrett from back in 2010,
‘the Book of Mormon is to the Bible what colour is to black and white
TV’. I thought this was a great
analogy.
I have now been attending church for about three months and loving it.
Then Sister Rasmussen and Sister Walter invited me to go to the Temple
with them to do baptisms for the dead. They had no idea when they chose
this date that it was my birthday! I can’t think of a more special way
to spend the day! They had helped me get started on my Family History
work prior to going so that I was able to take ten names to the Temple
on the day. It was an amazing experience. I felt such a sense of peace
and of closeness to God there, I felt like staying forever! I am looking
forward to going back again one day soon. I am also looking forward to
receiving my Endowment and my Patriarchal Blessing in the New Year.
I
thank my Heavenly Father for not giving up on me and for sending the
missionaries to me. I am grateful for all the missionaries past,
present, and future who willingly sacrifice so much to serve the Lord in
this way. I would like to say to them all to never get discouraged when
an investigator doesn't immediately respond to the Gospel or even
appears to reject it. So long as they have planted the seed the
possibility is always there for it to germinate and grow. It may take
years, as it did in my case. And never, never, under-estimate the power
of a friendly smile! The memory of those smiling missionaries when I
was 14yrs old has been a powerful witness to me and has stayed with me
all these years and helped me to be open to receiving the message of the
Restored Gospel.